A Simple Rant About Tights

Fall is here! The leaves are changing, the PSL’s are in full swing, and ladies everywhere are breaking out their legwear. Which means some pretty iffy fashion choices, some interesting new trends, and the just plain ‘No thank-you’s’ are coming. Strap in, it’s about to get angry:
I love legwear. I have an entire drawer dedicated to hosiery. My favourite? Calzedonia. They’re affordable, comfortable and chic. They don’t ship to Canada, so stocking up while abroad is a must. Pretty Polly is my close-second for go-to tights and they have a wide array of styles. When fall shows up, I happily don my polka dot tights, excited for another season of chilly weather and a reason to wear this drawer full of goodies. And then I go out into the world and see ladies….ruining the look of hosiery.
The Continuance of Tan Pantyhose. Tan pantyhose should never be worn. Ever. It never looks good (especially if it’s an orangey tan), it ruins a good outfit, and have you never heard of a light-weight black or grey pair of beautiful pantyhose? The horrid tan pantyhose has no reasoning in winter (what? You WANT to look like you’re bare legged in the middle of the snowstorm?) and there is definitely no reason for it in the summer months. It’s warm out ladies and we’re not Amish; get rid of the tights in the hot summer months. Exception to the never-wear-tan pantyhose-rule: those sexy tights with the line down the back, because…hot. Just remember that the ‘nude’ pantyhose won’t necessarily match your skin-tone and can result in some weird leg situations.
The Skirt, Boots, and No Tights Trend. I honestly don’t understand these women who constantly try to wear short skirts/dresses with tall boots (or even booties!). Unless you’re in California, tights/pantyhose are a must. It’s -40 on the regular in the winter here, and yet…the classic pencil skirt with knee-high boots keeps rearing its ugly head come fall and refuses to leave until summer. It’s the classic look that every HR book-keeper woman in history has ever worn. Come on, Karen, no one thinks you look good. Grab some opaque tights and get on with your life.
Sizing Always Matters. Ladies, ladies, ladies. Never believe the bullshit that size doesn’t matter, because it does. In all areas of life. When purchasing a pair of tights or pantyhose (or still wearing an old pair), make sure you’ve the right size. No one likes to see elephant kneed baggy tights. If they’re too old and starting to sag, quit ’em and ditch ’em. There are so many amazing types out there you can find your next favourite pair for a great price.
One Pattern Doesn’t Fit All. And, no amount of thinking that all women are beautiful will make someone who isn’t stick-thin and 15 be able to pull off over-sized polka dots or an exceptional heavy pattern – myself included. How many times have I tried to rock the zig-zag lined tights and never make it out of my house because I felt that my legs had doubled in size? Instead of trying all of the crazy patterns, I stick to my small polka dots, some flowery lace bits, and of course, the side lined tights because nothing makes your legs look better than a line zipping up from your foot to your thigh.

Still wanting something more exciting? These cute micro-dots gives you a fun pattern!

Throw Shade. Go darker on the colder days and lighter as spring and summer approached. White tights are NEVER okay.
And, here’s a friendly and classic PSA that everyone should remember:

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